Parenting Judgement Indicator

Parenting Judgement Indicator

What is the PJI?

The PJI is meant to help you make family decisions with your children in a flexible and wise way.  It can teach you how to select the decision making approach with the best chance of success.  The PJI is designed to help parents develop their relationship with their children.
Background
The PJI contains 17 family decision making situations that will be very familiar to you.  In each one, all you have to do is put yourself in the position of the parent and decide on the merit of four different ways of involving the children.  The children in each scenario are in the 9 - 11 year age range but you are welcome to complete the PJI even if your children are much younger or older than this!  It will still help you.
30 – 40 Minutes
Many people find that they can complete the PJI within 30 to 40 minutes.  Just work as quickly as you can, but it doesn't matter if you take longer.  Try to do it in one go and answer the questions in the way that reflects your judgement about the best way of dealing with the children.  It is also a good idea to arrange a time when you can complete it on your own without distractions.
Your Results
You will be able to order two types of report.  The Personal Insight Report is a 12 page narrative report that helps you understand your style of parenting in some detail.  The Profile Report gives you a profile chart that clearly summarises your style of parenting and then gives a detailed description of the four main parenting styles.

Arrange to complete the PJI by following this link - Access to Parenting Judgement Indicator

Download an example PJI Personal Insight Report or the PJI Profile Report to see what is best for you.


Formula 4 Parenting

We aim to help you with a part of parenting that is difficult to get right. With eight children between us, Bob and I know that only too well!

If you would like to develop your ability to choose the best approach to use with your children in family decision making situations, you have come to the right place. These are often situations where the children want freedom and you wonder how much control to exert. You wonder whether to just tell them what to do, find out their views then tell them, jointly decide what to do or just let them sort things out on their own.

Getting this right is difficult. This is especially as no two parents or people in loco parentis (eg foster carers or residential social workers) are necessarily going to agree about this. However, what you and the children all know is that, if everybody is singing off the same sheet, family life is pleasanter. That's why we want to help you develop a more consistent, fair and balanced approach to family decision making.

What is on offer?

You now have access to the Parenting Judgement Indicator (PJI). It has a series of very familiar family situations where a decision has to be made. All you have to do is to rate the appropriateness of four different ways of engaging with the children. The children in each scenario are deliberately aged between 9 and 11, although this is only because this is the age when your need to keep control and the child's need for freedom can be most obviously in conflict. However, please understand, the PJI is meant to help parents and carers of children of all ages.

By completing the PJI you will be able to benchmark yourself against a very varied set of other ordinary parents. This can give you ideas about ways to develop your parenting judgement. Moreover, if you encourage others close to you to complete the PJI, the benefits to the children and family dynamics will be even more obvious, especially if you use the results to gain more consistency between you.

What Parents and Carers Have to Say

MOTHER: 'Very informative and thought provoking.  I was not surprised at the findings but found the guidance extremely useful and it made me think and realise what I am actually doing to bring up my children. I don't think I've ever sat down and considered it in quite this way before. I will definitely be using this (and already have) in the future to help me raise my family.  Thank you.'

FOSTER CARE MANAGER: 'I found the indicator pretty accurate in relation to my own decision making and judgment and it reflected my approach of getting alongside children and young people in an attempt to reach agreement through listening and compromise. Many thanks.'

FOSTERING AND RECRUITMENT TEAM SOCIAL WORKER: 'I have found this to be very relevant and I think it is a true reflection of my parenting style. As a team of Social Workers we have all completed it and we all felt that it would be a useful tool for foster carers to help them understand their parenting style.'



Complete the Parenting Judgement Indicator

You are going to enjoy completing the PJI.  Here are a few things to bear in mind.

  • Many people find that they can complete the PJI within 30 to 40 minutes. 
  • Complete it as quickly as you can but it doesn't matter if you take your time. It is not a race.
  • Try to complete it in one go - don't leave it in the middle and come back to it later.
  • Find a time when you won't be disturbed or distracted. Turn the TV off.
  • Do it on your own so it reflects your own view - that way you'll get more out of it
  • Just answer the questions in the way that seems best to you. Be yourself!

There are two two types of report to choose from:


Example PJI Scenario

Day out with grandmotherDay Out With Grandmother

Grandmother is going out on a day drip with a friend.  Unfortunately, the friend has become poorly so she offers to take one of her two grandchildren, aged 11 and 12, instead.  The problem is, both grandchildren are equally deserving and both would like to go. No further tickets can be purchased and the grandchild who cannot go is likely to be disappointed and will make their disagreement clear.  The decision to be made by the Mother and Father is, who should go on the outing with Grandmother?  

The Mother and Father think they have four choices about how to make this decision:    

  1. Just tell the children which child will be going without any discussion.
  2. Ask the children about their ideas and suggestions and then make a decision about which child should go.
  3. Hold a discussion with both children and together decide which child should go.
  4. Allow the children themselves to decide which one of them should go.

After you have completed the Parenting Judgement Indicator, PJI, you will have a much better idea about the merits of each strategy.  You will learn about your own style of decision making and be able to compare it with how other parents respond in situations like this.  You will also get advice about how to develop your approach in the future.  If you can persuade your partner or other carers to do so, you can imagine how the children will benefit from the newfound consistency between you! 

You can find out more about how to complete the PJI by clicking here.


Parenting Judgement Decision Making Model

The parenting model on which the Parenting Judgement Indicator (PJI) is based can be found by following this link - Decision Making Model for Parents and Carers.

The model describes four main approaches the parent can use when discussing an issue with their children:

  • The Directive Style - this is where the parent decides what will happen, based upon their own ideas.
  • The Consulting Style - here the parent asks the children for their ideas and suggestions before making the decision.

The Directive and Consulting styles are used when the parent wants to keep in control of the situation.

  • The Participative Style - this is where the children and parents decide together about what will happen.
  • The Delegative Style - here the parent gives the children responsibility to decide what will happen.

The Participative and Delegative styles are empowering to children for the parents release control.

The decision making model encourages parents to think more flexibly about the way they use their power as parents in their relationship with their children. By pairing up the styles in this way it asks the parent to consider the appropriateness of holding on to control when there might be opportunity for equalising or even releasing control.

However, the styles can also be paired in another way. The Directive and Delegative styles are similar because they both emphasise getting on with the task, getting the decision made and getting things done. On the other hand, the Consulting and Participative styles focus on the involvement of the children in decision making - on active collaboration with children so their voice is heard and listened to!

The pairing of the styles into the four orientations described can be helpfully seen by following this link - Parenting Decision Making Orientations.

When the model is displayed in this way, as one international commentator recently said, 'We found your model doing online research ... and did fairly in-depth analysis of multiple models ... and found yours to convey the greatest depth of understanding in the least amount of explanation.' It is simple enough for all parents to find it accessible and understandable, yet complex enough for it to have depth of meaning and potential for parenting development.